Tuesday 1 March 2022 by Lucas Wilde

Russian pigeon executed after repeatedly shouting “Coup, Coup!”


Russian pigeon killed for calling for a coup

A Russian pigeon was executed by firing squad today (you’re gonna stretch this pun out to 150 words are you? Good luck! – ed)

The pigeon, who has yet to be formally identified, was shot after allegedly calling for a Russian coup on a repeated basis.

“All day, every day,” confirmed Russian soldier, Vladimir Williams.

“We cannot tolerate such talk of insubordination, even from a seemingly harmless entity such as a pigeon.

“Let this be a lesson to any other pigeons who have designs on a ‘coup’ and wish to vocalise that in public.”

Pigeon, Hayley Rice, commented “Coo!” and then immediately ducked to avoid a hail of gunfire.

“Ugh, this is going to be a long few months,” she continued.

“That’s the noise we make. It’s not like we have a plan to overthrow Vladimir Putin and install a friendly pigeon dictator sponsored by the West or anything.

“Not as far as we’re prepared to admit, anyway.”

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