Novak Djokovic has today decided to become a Russian athlete in order to ignore all the rules of the sport and avoid being punished or suspended for anything.
With the tennis star admitting yesterday that he would rather miss tournaments than be forced to have a vaccine, further news emerged later that Djokovic has actually decided to become a Russian athlete instead, because apparently they can do whatever they like and not get banned.
Speaking earlier he told us, “I’m Russian! Viva la Russia, or whatever you say!
“I have been watching the news over the last few days and saw that Russian athletes are allowed to take drugs in the Olympics and not even get banned from the games.
“And what with all that hassle I have with taking the vaccine and stuff, I’ve just decided to solve all my problems by becoming a Russian athlete.
“That way I can just do whatever I like and still be able to compete. It’s a real win-win situation for me, because I don’t want to follow the rules, but I still want to be able to play tennis.
“Obviously I’ll have to embrace some Russian culture in order to get my passport, like drinking lots of vodka, wearing those fur hats and you know… threatening to invade other countries.
“But thankfully I will still be able to play tennis and do whatever the fuck I like without getting banned.
“See you at Wimbledon suckers.”