Tuesday 15 February 2022 by Lucas Wilde

Prince Andrew settles out of court using MASSIVE book of Pizza Express vouchers


Prince Andrew

Prince Andrew has settled out of court with Virginia Guiffre.

The sweatless monarch had been up on charges of being an accomplice to trafficking and general noncery, all of which have been dropped after getting out his book of Pizza Express vouchers.

“Obviously we cannot disclose the sums involved,” confirmed Guiffre’s attorney, Chuck Williams.

“But the number of large pizzas – with a side of olives and breadsticks – that my client can now comfortably buy, can be described as ‘significant’.”

“It was a source of great satisfaction for my client to witness his Highness reach into his breast pocket, pull out the biggest book of vouchers one has ever seen, and dump it on the table.

“He was sweating some at that point, I tell ya.”

Lawyers for the Prince commented, “The Prince is obviously disappointed that he will have to use cash at Pizza Express going forward.

“But he is as happy to put this behind him as he was to put young women in front of him.

“Haha that’s a joke, please don’t put that.”

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