Monday 7 February 2022 by Mark Molloy

Man running 30 minutes on treadmill without spitting, surprisingly unable to run 30 seconds on the road without spitting


man on treadmill

A man who quite easily managed to run 30 full minutes on a treadmill at the gym without spitting, was surprisingly still unable to run 30 seconds on the road without spitting earlier it is revealed.

Simon Williams, who has never actually spat on the floor once while running at his local gym, began gobbing phlegm up onto the pavement earlier today just seconds into going for a nice run outside on the street.

Speaking earlier he told us, “Yeah you’ve got to spit on the floor constantly when you go for a run, it’s a perfectly normal physiological response.

“Unless of course you go for a run inside, on a treadmill at the gym, where for some unknown reason you don’t need to spit out at all and the floor next to the treadmill is not covered in everyone’s spit.

“Just like when I play Sunday League football with the lads, you can’t go five minutes without spitting, or doing that disgusting thing with your nose where you just blow it all over the floor.

“Obviously that’s not necessary at all when we play 5-a side indoors at the leisure centre where you don’t need to spit whatsoever, because you know… you just don’t.”

Asked if he feels that all the spitting and snotting outside is actually just unnecessary and disgusting we were told, “Absolutely not. You’ve got to spit when you run. Outside. Not inside that’s disgusting.”

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