Monday 31 January 2022

‘Brexit Freedoms Bill’ delighting all the usual low-information simpletons


Brexit Freedoms Bill delighting low-information simpletons

The government has delighted simpletons across social media today by announcing a new ‘Brexit Freedoms Bill’, despite providing no details whatsoever on what it contains or how it saves money because details like that are never required by Brexiters.

“This Bill is going to be brilliant for Brexit Britain,” said Simon Williams, a staunch Brexiter who has been providing material for this website for almost six years now.

“No, I don’t know what’s in it, or how it is going to save me money or make my life better, but if there is one thing I’ve learned from this government, it’s that when they tell me something it must be true – and that’s good enough for me.

“It’s the perfect time to finally ditch all those EU laws I’ve been moaning about for years.  The ones I haven’t been able to name, or describe what they do, or how they harm the UK – those ones. All of them. Awful.

“Calling it the Brexit Freedom Bill is a stroke of genius, because it’s about Brexit which I love, contains Freedom, which I love, and has the name Bill in it, who happens to be my second-favourite pub landlord.  It’s win-win-win.”

Meanwhile, people who like to see just a tiny bit of detail before they get all excited about new legislation have been left wondering why the government would announce a detail-light Bill that appeals to their core Brexit support today of all days.

Voter Jake Matthews told us, “I don’t know man, could it just be a massive coincidence that Boris announces this on the very same day Sue Gray releases her report into him and his team breaking lockdown rules?

“Surely Brexiters aren’t so completely dim that they can be manipulated like this so easily?

“Oh, right.”

Mr Bullshit – get the Boris Mr Men mug HERE!

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