Monday 31 January 2022 by Mark Molloy

Boris Johnson finally finds out he was at the parties he attended


Boris at the party

Boris Johnson has finally found out that he was at the parties he attended after being given a copy of Sue Gray’s report.

The Prime Minister, who up until now had absolutely no idea if he was actually at any of the parties that he definitely attended during lockdown, was given the information earlier after previously advising he would have to wait for Sue Gray’s report to find out if he was at the parties which he was at.

Speaking earlier he told us ,“Well blow me! It turns out I WAS at my own party. Who knew?

“I have now received a copy of Sue Gray’s report, which does in fact confirm that I was in attendance at a number of events which I did not previously know I was at.

“This comes as quite a shock to be honest, as I really had no idea I was at any of these gatherings, despite them being in my house, and admitting previously that I was at them all.

“And I definitely didn’t know that they were parties, despite them clearly being parties, with quite a lot of people, all drinking and eating party food.

“I am just thankful that Sue Gray has now managed to give me the information I needed to decide if I was at any of the parties, and therefore breaking the law.”

Asked if he will now resign, given the information he has, he told us, “Well, now we need to wait for the police investigation to conclude, don’t we.”

Mr Bullshit – get the Boris Mr Men mug HERE!

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