Managing Watford to become the new jury duty

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Watford FC has confirmed that everybody in the UK will have an opportunity to manage the club over the next five years.

The Hertfordshire club has drawn up a schedule of fortnightly managerial appointments after 97-year-old Claudio Ranieri completed his short stint at Vicarage Road yesterday.

Watford owner, Gino Pozzo stated, “Managing this football club will become like jury duty. You will get an envelope in the post outlining the time and date you’ll be allocated to manage the club.  You will have to have a pretty convincing argument to get out of your responsibility.

“We don’t really care for success or achievements. Look at our manager before Ranieri. We found him wandering the streets of Borehamwood, he helped guide us to promotion, and we sacked him when four points clear of the relegation zone.”

A Watford spokesman said, “Tenures will be brief, lasting from weeks to a couple of months. You will then be swiftly moved on, regardless of how well you’re doing.”

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One member of the public, Samuel Allardyce declared, “I’ve had my letter this morning. Booked into a Holiday Inn near Borehamwood for a month and been reminded to get Sammy Lee to bring bibs and cones for Monday.”