Tommy Robinson not that fussed about going to the Vatican to report on all the Catholic paedophiles

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Far-right investigative shouter and convicted fraudster Tommy Robinson has claimed that paedophiles inside the Catholic church are much better than the Muslim ones.

On the day the Catholic church announced the former Pope failed to act against paedophile priests in Germany, Robinson has been conspicuous by his absence outside the Vatican.

The former English Defence League leader, who is well known for reporting on paedophiles, but only the brown ones, also insisted that Muslim grooming gangs are seriously damaging the prospects of our own indigenous nonces.

“They’re finding it increasingly difficult to compete,” lamented Robinson in one of his trademark videos.

“Traditional tools upon which decent Christian paedophiles have relied, such as sweets, lost puppies and lots of hours spent practising as altar boys have been replaced by high-performance vehicles, alcohol and drugs.

“If we’re not careful, the endearing image of a dirty old man in a posh frock offering a sermon on a Sunday morning will disappear from our society forever.”

Robinson believes that spreading the word via social media could help save our hard-working Catholic nonces from the paedo scrapheap.

“If your Twitter or Facebook profiles contain the words ‘patriot’ or ‘truth’ then there’s much you can do,” he explained.

“Remind your followers and friends that Catholic paedos, even the ones that have moved abroad, are every bit as capable as Muslim paedos.

“We can’t let Christian sex offenders suffer the same fate as the British car industry.”

However, fans of the paedophile truth-teller have said they expect him to be reporting from the Vatican in the coming hours, keen to further enhance his reputation for exposing religious people who like to touch kids.

Robinson follower Simon Williams told us, “Wherever children are being abused by religious fanatics, Tommy is always there to tell his followers around the world all about it.

“Yes, he’s a bit quiet at the moment, but it’s probably only because the mobile reception in Rome is a bit shit.”