Wednesday 19 January 2022 by Mark Molloy

Lateral flow tests now more difficult to find than Rishi Sunak


Rishi Sunak hard to find

Lateral flow testing kits have become so difficult to find in the UK it is now believed that there is more chance of finding Chancellor Rishi Sunak for an interview about his boss.

With testing kits unavailable for days in many parts of the country, some experts now believe that the chance of actually finding a pharmacy that can provide you with a lateral flow test kit is less than actually finding Rishi Sunak to provide you with his opinion.

Scientist Simon Williams revealed, “There is almost zero chance of finding either of the two, if I’m honest.

“You cannot find a pack of lateral flow tests anywhere these days, and you also cannot find a Chancellor willing to come out and support his boss.

“They have both just fallen off the face of the earth this last two weeks.

“Obviously everyone knows Rishi Sunak has been locked in a room somewhere jumping up and down with excitement at the prospect of Boris being forced out – with such little public support for his leader, he clearly fancies having his job.

“However, having made a very brief appearance in an interview yesterday, without offering much support, or actually giving an answer to a direct question, it does now appear that Rishi Sunak is slightly more easy to find than a pack of lateral flow tests.

“On a plus note, infection rates do appear to be falling somewhat for some unknown reason. It’s almost as if people are not actually bothering to test themselves anymore.

“I’d ask Rishi Sunak about it, but I can’t fucking find him.”

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