The BBC can save a bit of money by ditching Songs Of Praise, agrees nation

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Scrapping the weekly worshipathon Songs of Praise will save the BBC a bit of money, licence fee payers have agreed today.

Following the announcement by cabinet dunce Nadine Dorries that the TV licence fee will be frozen for two years, the nation has come together to suggest at least one way the BBC can save money.

“Songs Of Praise can go for a start,” nodded heathen box-goggler Simon Williams, from Aldershot.

“It’s been going for sixty years now, so if the good Lord above hasn’t had enough warbled adoration by now then I don’t know when he will be satisfied.

“It’s one of the few shows on TV that has fewer viewers than production crew.”

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He explained, “As far as I know, it has only two regular viewers; a little old lady in Keswick called Ethel, and a cat in Norfolk whose owner died three months ago, who enjoys listening to the Rev Kate Bottley or Aled Jones on the TV as he chews on his former owner’s decaying feet.”

But this isn’t a view shared by everyone. Keen God-botherer Ethel, from Keswick, told us, “We can’t praise the Lord enough, if you ask me, and I can’t imagine that he’s remotely bored of hearing people singing hymns and songs that were written decades, if not centuries, ago.

“And it’s such a popular show – all of my friends were watching it as they peacefully passed away.”