Tuesday 18 January 2022 by Pete Redfern

Nobody told me keeping my mother’s corpse in the cellar and murdering guests was against the rules, insists Norman Bates


psycho in the shower

A killer and former owner of the lowest TripAdvisor rated motel in America has claimed that nobody warned them their acts weren’t allowed, according to reports.

Norman Bates, a well-spoken, seemingly intelligent person, admitted to stabbing a young lady to death in the shower and then murdering a private detective a few days later, but is now claiming that he wasn’t aware it was illegal at the time.

Speaking to a nurse at the asylum in which he is imprisoned, he explained, “Despite having a few misgivings at the time that repeatedly stabbing an innocent woman to death and then murdering a detective in a similar fashion whilst dressed as my mother might not have been quite within the realms of legality, I have to claim ‘guilty but ignorant’ on the matter.

“If only someone had pulled me to one side and said ‘Look, friend, I’m really not sure that keeping your mother’s corpse in the fruit cellar and wildly stabbing people at random is quite within the parameters of the law’ then perhaps I may have hesitated and not indulged myself, however fun and borderline sexually Freudian it was for me at the time.”

The plea has led to a slew of similar admissions from other public figures, including Jordan Belfort, who has claimed that nobody warned him that money laundering, cocaine, and blowjobs from prostitutes while driving were illegal, and the family of Tony Montana, who claim he had no idea that drug dealing and murder were frowned upon by police.

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