Man who lied to parliament condemned by man who lied to nation

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A man who lied to parliament about his knowledge of Downing Street parties has been condemned today by a man who lied to the nation about the way he tests his eyesight.

Dominic Cummings, who knows a thing or two about lying, revealed his condemnation earlier after vowing to swear on oath that the Prime Minister was aware that he had been invited to a party at his own fucking house.

Speaking earlier he revealed, “He’s telling lies, which I find absolutely disgusting and would never do myself.

“Unless of course, I had been caught doing something completely wrong and illegal, like breaking lockdown rules myself and driving to a castle.

“Which I had to do because of the eyesight thing – remember – so that’s not even a lie so there.

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“But what Boris has done is truly unforgivable and he needs to be held to account, now that he sacked me and I don’t have to turn a blind eye to it all anymore while keeping my gob shut.

“I just hope that he gets what he deserves for standing before the British people and telling bare-faced lies which are frankly laughable and an insult to the nation just to save his own skin.

“I mean, who would have the audacity to do such a thing.”

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