Nigel Farage has this morning been left distraught after the sovereign nation of Australia used its sovereign powers to decide who can and can’t cross its borders.
Sovereignty superfan Farage is said to be inconsolable after the country whose immigration policies he lauded for more than a decade used those same policies and powers to prevent an Eastern European from staying in the country.
A clearly upset Farage told his fans, “Today is a bad day for politicians who enjoy interfering in the business of other nations.
“As anyone who knows me will tell you, I take my role as an unelected bureaucrat meddling in the concerns of other sovereign countries extremely seriously. And today my interference has proven fruitless, which should worry every right-minded citizen -well, alt-right minded citizens at least.”
Farage went on to say that as far as he was concerned, the battle against oppression by dictatorial regimes unwilling to welcome temporary economic migrants from Eastern Europe was only just beginning.
He explained, “This is only the start. There is no global superstar’s family I won’t fly out to support if it means a nice photo opportunity and the chance of an appearance on the news.
“There is no previously held political position I won’t immediately abandon if I think it’s an opportunity to make a few quid from my gullible supporters.
“People need to remember, just because I’ve spent an entire career railing against Eastern European economic migrants crossing borders purely to take vast sums of money out of the country doesn’t mean I can’t pretend it’s a good thing here.