Wednesday 12 January 2022 by Neil Tollfree

Toddler urges parents to wait for results of inquiry into how chocolate was smeared over curtains


Toddler chocolate

A toddler has urged his parents to wait for the results of an inquiry into exactly how chocolate got smeared all over the lounge curtains before jumping to any rash conclusions and issuing potential sanctions.

“I can see that the chocolate-smeared curtains could well prove troubling. I’m certainly troubled by it. I think everyone is,” explained Jake Williams, 3.

“So, I think that it’s right and proper that we have a full and open inquiry into the matter to get to bottom of the situation, and then, and only then, if necessary, should we discuss any potential consequences that may result from the inquiry’s results.

“I have appointed my friend Jenny from playgroup to carry out the inquiry in return for taking my turn playing with the green bus.”

Despite Mr Williams assurances, his parents were unconvinced and have demanded he respond urgently to their direct inquiry over whether Jake was responsible for smearing chocolate on the curtains.

However, their questions were stonewalled.

“I really think it’s too early to apportion any sort of blame,” continued Jake.

“Let’s wait until the results of the inquiry give a clear indication of exactly what took place. Wild speculation about who may or may not have rubbed their face in the curtains does not help anyone.”

The inquiry is expected to conclude next month although could be delayed as there are already inquiries taking place into how the kitchen wall got scribbled on and how a poo got into the laundry basket.

Twatspotting – get the T-shirt here!

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: