Boris Johnson apologises for his behaviour after turning up to ‘bring your own booze’ with four cans of Skol

author avatar by 2 years ago

Boris Johnson has apologised today for his behaviour at a ‘bring your own booze’ party at Downing Street last May, after it was revealed he turned up with just four cans of Skol, and a single small blue WKD.

With news emerging last night that over 100 people were invited to the party, which was illegal at the time due to lockdown rules, the Prime Minister has today apologised profusely after witnesses confirmed that he turned up to the party with Skol, and then drank someone else’s Peroni.

Speaking earlier he told us, “Ok I’m sorry, are you happy now?

“I thought I could get away with it, as I’ve done it lots of times before. It’s all about getting through the door without anyone seeing what you have, and then dumping it somewhere near the fridge.

“And seeing as though the party was at my house you’d think I could have managed that. But I’m fucking useless at everything, so I still managed to get caught.

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“I mean I’m a Skol kind of guy, don’t get me wrong, I can drink it all day it’s bloody lovely, along with Carling and sometimes that cheap one from Aldi called Galahad.

“But when I go to a party I like to steal everyone else’s good stuff and leave all the shite for other people who will drink it later on when they are getting desperate.

“But I accept that this was wrong, and I’m really sorry for the pain and suffering I have caused.”

Asked if he is sorry for hosting the party in the first place, on a day when hundreds of people had died he told us, “Oh God no – I couldn’t give less of a shit.”

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