Friday 7 January 2022 by Neil Tollfree

New law will require ‘God Save the Queen’ to be played at the end of all satirical articles


national anthem at end of satirical articles

Following a campaign by Romford MP and fucking moron Andrew Rosindell, a new law has come into effect requiring the national anthem to be played at the end of all satirical articles.

After concluding the article, the reader will be required to go to YouTube and find a recording of the national anthem God Save the Queen and play it in full whilst standing firmly at attention facing the picture of the Queen that, it is assumed, hangs on the wall of proud Brits across the nation.

“The country has been brought to its knees over the last eleven or so years of chronic governmental mismanagement by whoever it was who was in power,” explained Rosindell.

“So, the best solution to all that is definitely playing a boring song more often.”

Simon Williams is the sort of half-witted simpleton who still believes Tory MPs like Rosindell have anything of value to say.

“I think this is definitely a brilliant idea. I don’t read satirical articles because, for some reason, they only satirise things I like,” he said.

“But, if the sort of long-haired, lefty, hippie wasters who do read satire were to forced to listen to God Save the Queen more often, then that would definitely show them. It would also increase tolerance and unity.”

There was concern that some people may not be able to find a recording of God Save the Queen and so the new law acknowledges this and allows a washing machine running in a different room while a gloomy man mumbles incoherently as a valid alternative to the national anthem.

However, we at NewsThump wholeheartedly support this initiative and will therefore provide a link to the national anthem which can be accessed here.

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