Previously unknown French tennis player Novacques Chocoviche has been given a wild-card entry to the Australian Open after proving his vaccination status.
Where others have problems, he got through without issue thanks to his five-fold vaccination, which he insists is just ‘common sense’.
“Mon Dieu! Baguette! Fromage! I am very happy that everything went so smoothly with my entry,” said Chocoviche after passing through the Australian customs control without incident following his presentation of a flawless French vaccination certificate, that included all popular vaccinations (one AstraZeneca, two Pfizer, one Moderna, and one inexplicably from Red Bull).
“Louvre! Magnifique! Voulez-vous coucher avec moi? What a beautiful, hospitable country that I have definitely never visited before!
“Fortunately, I have been fully vaccinated, by all the best and most popular vaccines, so I am now definitely allowed to be here to compete in what is definitely my first ever international tournament.”
The newcomer seems to have been pretty lucky, as his wild-card entry was only confirmed once the previous champion Novak Djokovic had his visa to participate in the tournament revoked due to difficulties in entering the country. Novacques Chocoviche will now take over his starting place in the main draw, and is strangely confident about his chances.
“No one had heard of Emma Raducanu before she won the US Open last year, so none of you should be surprised if I go right ahead and win the whole thing. I’m pretty good at tennis, or ‘le tennis’ as we say in France.”