Wednesday 5 January 2022 by Mark Molloy

Prince Andrew demands Pizza Express bill be dismissed after other diner pays own bill on completely different table


Prince Andrew wants Pizza Express bill dismissed

Prince Andrew has demanded today that his Pizza Express bill should be waived after another diner paid their own bill on a completely different table.

The Prince, who had been eating at the restaurant last night drafted in his lawyers this morning after obtaining sight of a document showing a customer on table six had paid for their own bill in full, relieving them of any further obligations or charges from the restaurant.

A spokesperson for Prince Andrew confirmed, “The bill should be dismissed, and the matter should be closed immediately.

“We accept that Prince Andrew attended his favourite restaurant yesterday and had a lovely pizza, with some dough balls as a starter, with a ‘friend’, who seemed quite young.

“But information has arisen that somebody else on another table has paid for their own food relieving them of any obligation towards the restaurant.

“Which must therefore relate to Prince Andrew, because…. you know…it just does okay, it means he doesn’t have to pay for his food.

“Or even talk about it, because someone has already paid, for something unrelated.”

Asked if on a slightly separate note if anyone actually witnessed the prince going out to Pizza Express once again we were told, “No. Not a soul. Not one waiter, chef, manager or customer again! It’s bizarre. It’s like they all go blind.”

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