Desperate family forced to start on the Quality Street toffee pennies

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Things have got so bleak in a Chelmsford household that the desperate family have been forced to turn to the handful of toffee pennies in the Quality Street tub.

“All the Christmas chocolate has gone; all the pre-Christmas chocolate has gone. The only thing left is these toffee pennies at the bottom of the Quality Street tub,” explained Simon Williams, who was the first to notice the crisis.

“I mean, they’re grim, unpleasant, and mum’s fillings don’t stand a chance. But what else are we going to do? Go to the shop? No, the only option open to us is to eat the toffee pennies.”

Simon’s little sister seemed quiet. Withdrawn.

“I don’t think Holly really understands what’s going on,” said Simon.

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“I mean, she knows something’s wrong and she knows that there are no chocolates on the tree but I don’t think she understands what it really means. I don’t think she understands the implications. I don’t think she really even understands what toffee pennies are. Maybe it’s better that way. That she doesn’t know.”

The family have agreed to conduct one last search of the house to see if there’s a last Chocolate Orange segment under a bed, or a biscuit down the side of the sofa. If not, as seems likely, they will be forced to start on the toffee pennies later today.

“It’s going to be bad, but to be honest, it’s what comes after the toffee pennies that worries me,” continued a clearly worried Simon.

“I have a terrible feeling that we’ll end up having to eat the blue coconut ones.”