Santa has made a tacit agreement with his wife not to mention their coughing and sneezing Reindeer until the evening of the twenty-fifth when they’ve finished visiting every home in the land.
Speaking while packing his sleigh, Father Christmas said, “Absolute fucking nightmare. I’ve got half the elves off with fucking Covid, the other half are whinging about having to do a bit of work for once in their lives, and now Rudolph’s looking like a cup of warm piss.
“There’s no way a lateral flow is going near the lad until we’ve finished the evening shift. I told him he should have had the vaccine like the rest of us, but oh no, Professor Rudolph knows best. Anyways, what we don’t know can’t bite us in the arse.
“On top of everything else, my Amazon delivery didn’t come, so I’m going to have to bodge something together for the Mrs from the kitchen cupboards.
“There goes my boxing day shag.”