Man begins annual 45-second task of wrapping all of his Christmas presents

author avatar by 2 years ago

A man has begun the long and arduous 45-second task of wrapping all of his Christmas presents to the standard that is to be expected.

Simon Williams, who has nine presents to wrap for his wife, and also can’t find the scissors, began his epic task earlier after spotting his wife’s beautifully wrapped presents for him already under the tree.

Speaking earlier he told us, “I suppose I better get started on wrapping this lot, which will take me less than a minute.

“I bloody hate wrapping Christmas presents, which is why I do it to the least of my ability, with much the same outcome as if a toddler had wrapped all the presents.

“They are only going to get opened again anyway, so what’s the point in trying? You may as well just make them look like shit, to really show your love, with just a tiny bit of sellotape over some rubbish crumpled up paper.

“Obviously I have quite a few to do, so the standard will gradually slip as I get bored after about 30 seconds, with the last couple of presents just being thrown together, and with possibly a hole or two in the paper.

“And then I can get on with my day, which mainly consists of sitting on my arse whilst the wife wraps all the children’s presents, with intricate bows and personalised messages from Santa.”

Asked if he sent any Christmas cards this year he told us, “Erm… Yeah I’m doing that charity thing… honest.”