With the big day approaching, families across the world are preparing to spend Christmas Day celebrating the birth of a man who’d be described as an ‘out-of-touch liberal lefty luvvie’ if he was alive today.
Christmas is traditionally a time when people come together to celebrate something that didn’t happen, reflect on values they don’t possess and feel proud of the things they’re not doing.
“Things were different back in Biblical times,” explained Brexit Party spokesman Simon Williams.
“Back then you could make your own commandments without interference from meddling EU bureaucrats.
“I’m certain that if Jesus were alive today, he’d be urging the government to close the borders, take back control and implement an Australian-style, points-based immigration system.
“It’s just common sense.”