Monday 20 December 2021

Boris Johnson insists Downing Street garden photo was taken on ‘Bring your wife and a bottle of wine to work’ Day


Boris Carrie and Wine

Prime minister Boris Johnson has today hit back at critics who claim that he broke lockdown rules in May 2020 by insisting the incriminating photo of the Downing Street garden was actually taken on ‘Bring Your Wife and a Bottle of Wine to Work Day’.

After the photo led to the government receiving widespread criticism for ‘doing whatever the fuck they liked while the rest of us lived like hermits’, Johnson himself spoke out to clarify and provide context.

The prime minister explained to reporters, “Yes, to the untrained eye it does look as if several people from different households are in the garden enjoying some wine and cheese in what might be referred to as a casual ‘party’ or social get together – and yes, that was not allowed at the time.

“However, no rules were broken because that photo was taken on ‘Bring Your Wife and a Bottle of Wine to Work Day’, or BYWAABOWTWD for short.

“On this admittedly hastily arranged day, we were encouraged to bring spouses to work so they could see what we do all day.  And those spouses brought wine because, well, we’re not savages and who turns up to a party without a bottle?

“Sorry, not party, ‘business meeting’.”

Meanwhile, Downing Street workers have been quick to seek clarification on whether this means wine can no longer be consumed during day time ‘business meetings’.

Political consultant Simon Williams told us, “I’m not being funny, but I’m not staying here if it means being sober the whole time.

“It can’t be a surprise to anyone to learn that most of the things implemented by Boris’ team are the result of people being full to the brim of Chateauneuf du Pape?”

The cabinet of arseholes – get the best-selling design on a mug here!

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