FIA awards Lewis Hamilton’s knighthood to Max Verstappen

author avatar by 12 months ago

Prince Charles has unexpectedly presented a knighthood to Max Verstappen after the FIA gave the Dutch F1 driver permission to burst into the ceremony at Windsor Castle to snatch the honour from Lewis Hamilton at the last minute.

As Prince Charles explained, “It was utterly appalling. Just before it happened, I was telling Lewis Hamilton not to feel bad about losing the Grand Prix on the last lap, because sometimes when someone’s been sitting in the number one spot for a very, very, long time, it’s only fair that they make way for another monarch, I mean driver, to have their turn at the top.”

Verstappen reportedly made use of this break in proceedings to change into a fresh pair of running shoes, before FIA officials allowed him to rush in and take the knighthood for himself when the ceremony restarted.

Prince Charles then chased Verstappen around the grounds of Windsor Castle but ended up being lapped twice by the Dutchman before losing control and colliding with the Albert Memorial Chapel.

Sir Max Verstappen told reporters, “No, I’m not giving up the F1 title, or my knighthood. True, maybe the rules of F1 weren’t followed correctly, and apparently there might be some rules against breaking into Windsor Castle and stealing a medal too, but let’s not forget the important most important rule of all – no takey-backsies.”

An FIA spokesperson told us, “We understand that some F1 fans will be frustrated by Sir Max’s new knighthood, and will no doubt point to the well-established rules that clearly state that knighthoods should go to whoever was awarded them in the honour’s list.

“But we would politely point those fans to regulation 127(b), subsection 23, which clearly states that we can do whatever the fuck we like.”