Leave voters were left reeling this morning after learning that France had somehow managed to secure their own borders whilst still being part of the European Union.
France have today tightened travel restrictions from the UK, in an attempt to prevent the spread of toxic nationalist right-wing populist ideology, and also the Omicron variant of Coronavirus.
Simon Williams, from Dover, was stunned by the news. “They… they just can’t DO that!” he stuttered, turning a new and deeper hue of gammon.
“Nigel Farage told us that being in the EU meant we couldn’t control our own borders and yet those countries are part of the EU, and have only gone and bloody controlled their own borders – just like THAT!
“Surely that wasn’t all a lie to get us to vote for an economically catastrophic break from our largest trading partner just to line the pockets of disaster capitalists like him… was it?”
One French citizen, Christophe James, told us – after he had stopped laughing – “Oui, it turned out to be remarkably easy to control our border. We just, you know, said ‘Let’s shut the border with plague island’ and within a few hours the restrictions were in place.
“After all, what does Britain have to offer us at the moment apart from lengthy delays at the border crossing and a new and more virulent strain of COVID-19?”
According to reports in the French media, a number of builders were seen this morning bricking up the Channel Tunnel from the Calais end.