“Oh no, the public have worked out our anagrams!” declares horrified New World Order

author avatar by 2 years ago

The New World Order are in full crisis management mode today.

The true puppet masters of planet Earth had hidden their intentions for mankind in phrases like “delta” and “omicron”, but the public has finally figured those messages out thanks to some brave free-thinkers on the Internet.

“SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!” confirmed Simon Williams, member of the New World Order and probable lizard person.

“I KNEW we’d been too cocky here. ‘Delta’ and ‘Omicron’ do indeed spell out the phrase ‘media control’ but at no point did we think any of you would SO CLEVER.

“What kind of moronic conspiracy deliberately states their plans in anagrammatic form; a plan that could be worked out in round two of Pointless? Well, THIS ONE, apparently.

“I distinctly remember the meeting where we discussed this, and someone saying ‘well, if the public go down the anagram route they’ll probably focus on ‘Moron Citadel’ or ‘Retail Condom’ or ‘Doctor Menial’ – or any of the other nonsensical anagrams available.

“Well, they were wrong. I told everyone this was a dumb idea from the get-go, but no, we had to go ahead and issue the kind of coded message so simple that Barry, a high school drop-out from Pennsylvania, could figure it out.

“What fools we’ve been, and how harshly we have underestimated the general public.”

“Told you,” beamed Barry, a high-school drop-out from Pennsylvania.

“I mean… I didn’t figure this out, obviously, I saw it in a meme and it chimed with my comforting disillusions of some kind of shadowy cabal that runs everything, so I shared it.”

“Damn that Barry…he’s always one step ahead,” declared Williams, shaking his fist.