A man who has spent the best part of a year insisting that the Covid vaccine “isn’t safe because we have no long term analysis of its possible side effects”, has today announced that the fortnight-old Omicron variant is “nothing to worry about”.
Simon Williams, 35, has achieved what many epidemiologists thought impossible, by declaring Omicron ‘safe according to all the available evidence’.
He told anyone listening, and some of those who weren’t, “Omicron might be more transmissible, but it’s patently obvious to anyone who watches the same YouTube videos as me that it’s WAY less dangerous than the other variants we’ve seen.
“Two weeks of data, and 17 minutes on YouTube is all it took for me to definitively categorise the Omicron variant as ‘safe’. It’s nothing to worry about and we should all get back to normal immediately. ”
However, when asked if he would be getting vaccinated in an attempt to reduce the spread of the virus, and to reduce his own likelihood of becoming seriously ill from this, or any of the other variants, he told us, “Absolutely NOT! Are you crazy?
“That vaccine was rushed through without proper trials and has only been around for 18 months. It’s still EXPERIMENTAL! God only knows what the long-term effects will be when we’ve had the proper amount of time to look at it. If you want to be a lab rat, then go right ahead – but I’m staying well clear of it.
“If it is so safe, then why did the manufacturers get the government to make it impossible to sue them if it harms you? Huh? Answer me that!”
Simon’s friend Shelly told us, “*Sigh*. Simon is seemingly under the impression that ‘safety’ is linked to your ability to sue someone. He’s going to be horrified when he learns there is no one to sue if Covid makes him seriously ill, or even kills someone close to him.
“But the only way I’ll get him to learn that in the first place is if I put it into a YouTube video titled ‘The Covid secret the elites don’t want you to know!!’.”