Office worker gets around ‘home working’ rule by carrying a pint and pretending it’s a party

author avatar by 12 months ago

After the government implemented Plan B restrictions which dictate people should work from home wherever possible, but should also still go to their Christmas parties, some office workers are circumventing the home-working rule by carrying a pint with them throughout the working day.

Plan B has come into force due to concerns around the Omicron variant, which for some reason can infect you at work, but not at the office Christmas party.

Simon Williams, an accounts clerk in London told us. “I know the government wants us to work from home if at all possible, but my flat is really quite shit – it’s dark, noisy, and frankly I’ve seen more than enough of it over the last 18 months.

“By comparison, the office is warm, has plenty of light, and if I’m lucky I get to speak to real human beings during the day, some of whom are not complete twats.  I’d much rather be here during the working day.

“Which is why this pint of Stella never leaves my hand. If we get ‘raided’ I can instantly prove I am here for a party – which is perfectly legal – and not to do some work, which would be frowned upon.

“I mean, yes, my work does tend to get a little sloppy in the afternoons – four pints of Stella will do that to you – but I’m not breaking any rules if this is a ‘party’, and at least I’m here doing a job I don’t completely hate with people I can mostly tolerate.  It’s win-win.

“Plus, if I carry my beer in my hand all the way home I don’t have to wear a mask on the bus!”