Man furious at the tyranny of ‘vaccine passports’ choosing to ignore bit about ‘negative lateral flow tests’

author avatar by 2 years ago

A man furiously venting at the outrageous tyranny of ‘vaccine passports’ is today choosing to ignore the fact he can do everything a vaccinated person can do with a free negative lateral flow test.

Simon Williams, 35, has declared the UK a ‘fascist state’ after the government announced you will need to show a vaccine passport to enter certain places, such as nightclubs and venues holding more than 500 people.

He declared, “This is where freedom goes to die. I am free to be unvaccinated, but the UK has capitulated under fascism, and now the unvaccinated will be treated as second class citizens.

“Well, yes, apart from being able to get a vaccine passport with a negative lateral flow test which will give them the same right of entry as someone who is vaccinated.

“But that is not the point, the point is that I am being marginalised – marginalised through the medium of minor inconveniences that make it a tiny bit more difficult to go clubbing.

“I don’t care if I can go to a nightclub with a free negative lateral flow test instead of a vaccine passport, who has time for that? It takes, what, about a whole minute to do the test, then you’ve got to wait around for 15 minutes to confirm the result? That’s like, quarter of a whole hour. This is basically the same as the Stalinist regime in Russia.

Simon’s long-suffering partner, Sharon, told us, “I’m vaccinated and have the NHS passport on my phone, and even with that there is literally nowhere I can go that Simon can’t, if he takes a lateral flow test and gets a negative result.

“But that doesn’t play well with his desire to be the perpetual victim, where he likes to pretend we live in a different country, living under rules and restrictions we haven’t implemented, so I just let him have his little ill-informed toddler-rants, then I’ll stick a cotton bud up his nose on Friday so we can all go to clubbing for my friend’s birthday party.

“Where I will have the pleasure of spending the night listening to my friends wonder out loud why I’m still with such a loser, while Simon spends the night berating the staff for being ‘complicit in a genocide’.”