Wednesday 8 December 2021 by Mark Molloy

Government set to announce ‘Plan B’ restrictions which they will subsequently ignore completely


Boris on Plan B

The government is set to move to Plan B of its strategy for dealing with Covid this winter, which will involve restrictions that they won’t be adhering to themselves, obviously.

With fears growing regarding the transmission of the new Omicron variant, further measures to slow the spread of the virus could now be put in place by the government in the next few days meaning further restrictions for people throughout the winter period, apart from people in government, who can do whatever the fuck they like whenever they feel like it.

A spokesperson for the government confirmed, “Yes, it could be Plan B I’m afraid, for you lot anyway, we just do what we want”

“We are very concerned about the spread of this new variant, and further restrictions are very likely to be needed, for the general public, who don’t work at Number 10”

“Obviously it is imperative for everyone to follow these rules in order to protect people from dying, and look after our NHS, unless you are in the government of course, where the rules do not apply.”

“We are confident that if everyone – apart from us – does their bit, and sticks to the rules in place, then we can try to get through this winter together.

“Well you know, obviously not ‘together’ because we are better and more important than you, but you know what I mean.”

Asked if he attended the party last Christmas we were told, “Yes it was amazi…. I mean no. There was no party.”

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