Local 3-year-old Simmy Wills possesses the incredible superpower of turning into an octopus whenever it is time to put on a coat. Or trousers, Or any other article of clothing for that matter.
Simmy – short for Simon – was apparently bitten by a radioactive cephalopod during a trip to the seaside, and now sprouts at least four additional squirming limbs if he has to leave the house wearing more than one article of clothing.
“It’s amazing”, said mother Simone, “The moment a coat is taken off the hook in the porch these extra arms and legs just appear, waving all over the place and making it pretty much impossible to cram him into it.
“With the noise, it’s like trying to wrestle a set of angry bagpipes into a pillowcase.
“And, also like an octopus, he’s often weirdly sticky but I just try not to think about that.”
His parents went on to report that after battling with Simon for half an hour over putting on something warm, they will let him go out without it – at which point he will burst into tears because it’s so cold.
“At least an octopus doesn’t do that!” laughed Simone, bitterly.