Tuesday 30 November 2021 by Neil Tollfree

New Star Wars prequel to detail evil Sith plans to make everyone wear a cloth mask while shopping


Darth Vader

A new Star Wars prequel has been announced that will detail the early period of Empire rule in which the Sith attempted to make everyone in the galaxy wear a small cloth mask over their mouth when they pop to the shops.

Set just after events in Revenge of the Sith, the film opens with the Emperor explaining to Darth Vader that the Empire must show its strength and authority immediately.

They could, he continues, use their stormtrooper army to oppress and harass the people, executing those who oppose their new rule and brutally using violence to silence any free thought.

Or, they could make people wear small cloth masks over their mouths in space-shops.

Darth Vader, a part man/part machine who is driven entirely by hate and cruelty, is visibly shocked by the idea but agrees to implement the plan.

“We really wanted to show the depths the Sith Empire was prepared to sink to. The real horror of life under their authoritarian rule,” explained director Simon Williams.

“What better way to do so than to show their terrifying plan to make people wear small cloth masks when they do their shopping. Life simply wouldn’t be worth living in such circumstances.”

The film ends with all the people of the galaxy cowed and broken and, chillingly, all wearing little cloth masks across their mouths in shops.

The film is expected to be the most disturbing and scary Star Wars film yet, and will almost certainly receive an 18-rating for its horrific theme of making people wear a mask.

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