Friday 26 November 2021 by Mark Molloy

‘I’ve pretty much sorted my Christmas shopping already’ insists absolute twat


woman finishes christmas shopping

A twat has today revealed today that she is ‘pretty much sorted for Christmas already’ after wrapping the last of her presents.

Sharon Williams, who started buying presents in October, revealed the news earlier after buying the last of her gifts for her work friends and ordering her turkey online.

Speaking earlier she told us, “Phew! Done. I think I’m sorted for Christmas now.

“I can finally relax and enjoy myself and just sit here smug as a bastard, whilst telling everyone I know that I’m finished.

“I like to start early just so I’m not all stressed out, so I started buying presents in October and wrote all my cards out to send.

“I’d already ordered the Christmas dinner online in July and secured the best slot for collection.

“The decorations went up last night and I just finished wrapping a couple of cheeky last-minute surprises for the hubby earlier so I think I am pretty much done.”

Asked to comment on his wife’s preparations, and if he has bought any presents himself, husband Simon told us, “It’s fucking November mate.”

If like any normal person you still have plenty of presents to buy, why not have a look at the full range on the NewsThump store!

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: