Wednesday 24 November 2021

Man who spent full year insisting ‘All Lives Matter’ perfectly comfortable with migrant boats sinking in the Channel


man shrugging

A man who spent the last year tweeting #AllLivesMatter whenever anyone called for help for a particularly vulnerable sub-group of our society, has today decided that the migrants drowning while crossing the channel is perfectly acceptable.

Simon Williams, 35, is of the view that ‘all lives matter’ only when it helps weaken the argument of people he doesn’t like, preferring the moniker ‘some lives matter’ when the lives at stake are those he’s not particularly keen on.

He told us, “ALL lives matter – and that shouldn’t be a controversial opinion and everyone should all shut up and agree with me.

“It’s important to remind people that all lives matter whenever they call for protection for a very specific group that doesn’t include people who look like me and think like me.”

However, when asked about the ongoing attempts by asylum seekers to cross the channel in small dinghies, with at least 30 drowning after their boat sank earlier today, he told us, “Well I don’t know what they expected? They knew the risks, so it’s tough – they should have stayed in France.

“In fact, if you ask me we should just tell the RNLI to let them drown, or better still, send in the Navy to sink a few of them and that’ll be the end of it.

“It’s mostly terrorists anyway.”

When it was pointed out that only yesterday boats arrived that included both children and pregnant women, he said, “Yeah, but that’s how the terrorists stop you blowing them up.  They know we’re weak. They’d soon stop coming if they all ended up at the bottom of the channel.

“I don’t know what you mean, this in no way contradicts my previous position that all lives matter.”

Sociologist Derek Matthews told us, “Yeah, we’ve noticed the correlation. A Venn diagram of people who have tweeted AllLivesMatter in the last twelve months and people who say we should be making these migrant dinghies turn around and go back to France is basically a circle.

“And yes, it’s a really big circle full of arseholes.”

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