Monday 22 November 2021 by Davywavy

Peppa Pig is nothing like Spearmint Rhino, warns disappointed Boris Johnson


Peppa Pig World for Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson warned that despite the superficial similarity in names, Peppa Pig World ‘could not be further’ from the land of Spearmint Rhino.

Despite being a father of small children for the umpteenth time, Boris simply has no idea of what the next few years of his life is actually going to be like, and still harbours misplaced hopes which are bolstered by titles like ‘Rebecca Rabbit’.

“Given the name, I was quite looking forward to the stack of Peppa Pig DVDs when the wife popped out,” explained a disappointed prime minister.

“The ones with titles like ‘Fancy Dress Party’, and ‘Bedtime’ sounded right up my street.

“I wasn’t so sure about ‘Grandpa’s Little Engine’, but try anything once, that’s what I always say. Even the American ones.

“Imagine my dismay when I discovered what was actually on them.

“When my wife told me we were going to Peppa Pig World I thought I was getting a bit of a free pass that would see me going home covered in glitter and smelling of cheap perfume, all to make up for the forthcoming years of no sleep and no action.

“But no, it’s actually a place for children, so that’s forty quid I won’t get back in a hurry. Well, unless some kind donor wants to cover it?”

The makers of Peppa Pig are reported to be planning more releases, especially for the confused father market, including ‘Penelope’s Peaks’, about a mountain-climbing cartoon Kangaroo, and ‘Gigantic jugs of joy’, an educational film about measuring volumes of water.

The Cabinet of Arseholes – get the best-selling mug here!

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