Terror threat level raised to ‘severe’ to give impression Boris Johnson is doing something

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The UK terror threat level has been raised to ‘severe’ in order to give the impression that Boris Johnson is actively doing something.

It is understood that after seeing news of an explosion outside Liverpool Women’s Hospital on Sunday, the Prime Minister immediately swung into action and changed channels to a Harry Potter film in ITV4 because, frankly, he finds too much talk of bombs a little depressing.

After watching twenty minutes of Harry going on about his Mum, Mr Johnson suddenly asked if he should be doing something, following what appeared to be an act of terror on UK soil.

He was informed he could make a statement to reassure the country, increase funding for anti-terror police, and create some long-term community-level initiatives to combat isolation and radicalism.

Unfortunately, he really wanted to see how the Harry Potter film ended, so instead he asked if there was anything he could do that would look like he was doing something without actually having to do anything.

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Consequently, the Terror threat level has been raised to ‘severe’.

It is understood that Boris really enjoyed the Harry Potter film and is looking forward to next Sunday when there is another Harry Potter film scheduled.