Sunday 14 November 2021

Tesco on verge of becoming completely Covidiot-free


Tesco boycott due to Santa Covid passport

Supermarket chain Tesco is on the verge of becoming entirely free from the sort of arseholes that refuse to wear masks indoors and who insist that Covid vaccines are the work of the devil.

After Tesco launched a Christmas advert that showed Santa Clause coming to the UK after proving he is double-jabbed, entirely witless shoppers have decided to boycott the supermarket because a man they don’t believe in took a vaccine they don’t believe in.

Non-moron and supermarket shopper Simon Williams told us, “What we have here is a case of ill-informed contrarian morons who seemingly exist only to find new things to be offended by.  This time it’s a Christmas advert. They seem entirely oblivious to the fact that nothing screams ‘I’m a massive snowflake’ quite like being upset by a Christmas advert.

“Calling for a boycott of Tesco because they showed Santa being vaccinated is peak anti-vaxer. It’ll probably be a couple of hours before one of them creates a fake news meme showing how ill Santa got from the jab and that he’s had to retire.”

A Tesco spokesperson told us, “We thought it would be fun to mix the face of Christmas with the biggest issue we’ve faced as a country all year, but as always, simpletons on the Internet are getting their knickers in a twist and calling for a boycott.

“Well, so be it.  If we can rid ourselves of a few thousand moronic mouth-breathers, then great. But we all know that tomorrow they’ll be moaning on social media about ‘cancel culture’ and how its effect on free speech is ‘ruining society’. The irony will obviously be lost on them.”

Shopper Williams concluded, “Now I think about it, being able to do my shopping and guaranteeing that I won’t bump into the sort of twat who goes around insisting Laurance Fox is right about everything is as good a reason as any to start shopping in Tesco?”

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