Vaccines to be made mandatory for NHS staff, to protect them from Boris Johnson

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Vaccines are to be made mandatory for all NHS staff working in hospitals in the UK, to protect them from Boris Johnson walking around without a mask spreading the virus everywhere.

With pictures emerging yesterday of the Prime Minister visiting a hospital once again without a mask, after trying to kill off David Attenborough last week in Glasgow, Health Secretary Sajid Javid has announced that compulsory vaccinations will now be needed by people working in hospitals to protect them from Boris Johnson.

Speaking earlier he revealed, “We’ve had to take drastic action I’m afraid, he’s just wandering around there like a fucking idiot trying to spread the disease.

“Look, obviously Boris is having to spend a lot more time hiding in hospitals these days, trying to avoid attending parliament to answer questions about Tory corruption.

“And of course he’s doing it without wearing a mask, because he’s a fucking moron.

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“Despite the sheer number of vulnerable people who tend to be in hospitals, and the potential for spreading it amongst staff, who can then pass it to patients or have to isolate at home and miss work.

“So we have made the decision that all NHS staff will now need to be fully vaccinated in order to work in a hospital, at least whilst there is a very real risk that Boris Johnson can turn up on one of his bullshit visits.”

Asked if they could not just ask the Prime Minister to wear a mask himself, or perhaps not attend hospitals at all, we were told, “We’ve tried.”