90% effective vaccine struggling to cope against 10% effective government

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The UK’s response to the coronavirus epidemic is barely holding despite a 90% effective vaccine, thanks to a government that has proven to be barely 10% effective.

Despite the vaccine proving to be 90% effective against people getting severely ill or dying with covid, cases and deaths remain worryingly high due to a government that has been operating at around 10% effectiveness for quite some time now.

“A 90% effective vaccine can only do so much,” said virologist Simon Williams.

“The UK government’s coronavirus response has been operating at an efficacy rate of approximately 10% since the virus emerged. Late lockdowns, an inability to procure adequate PPE, utterly confusing guidelines, refusing mask mandates, leaving it up to ‘common sense’… the list goes on.

“The bottom line is that Boris and his government have been 90% utterly bloody useless, leading to a death toll far in excess of where it should really be.

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“However, having such an effective vaccine has really helped offset much of this incompetence, which obviously isn’t much of a comfort if you’re someone who has lost a loved one.”

With news that frontline NHS staff will require a vaccine to continue in their roles, some Tories have warned that the government should not be too hasty in rolling out a mandatory vaccination programme.

“It’s vital that the Prime Minister doesn’t cave in to pressure from so-called scientists epidemiologists to vaccinate those workers who spend their days working amongst society’s most vulnerable,” said Iain Duncan Smith.

“Well, not until our biggest donors have found a way to monetise it.”

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