Friday 5 November 2021 by Neil Tollfree

COP26 delegates reach historic agreement to turn that bloody light off if you’re not in there


COP26 delegates

The delegates at COP26 have announced that they have reached an agreement to all turn that bloody light off if you’re not in there anymore.

The negotiations were tense and threatened to collapse when no provision could be found for what happens if you were going back in there in a minute, but ultimately it was agreed that even if you’re not in there for a minute, you can still quickly flick the light switch off and then turn it back on when you go back in again.

“This is a tremendous step forward,” said COP26 representative Simon Williams.

“For far too long now, we’ve been all too happy to leave all the lights on will-nilly until it looks like bloody Blackpool illuminations in here. This agreement should finally put a stop to that.”

The delegates accepted that there may be some teething troubles as everyone gets used to the plan.

“Well, we might see someone accidentally turning off the light while someone else is still in there, or you might bang your shin as you go back in there to turn the light on,” said Mr Williams.

“In the fullness of time, though, I think that everyone will adjust, and that we’ll get to the point where if you’re not in there then the light isn’t on.”

The institute of Dads has welcomed the agreement, saying that they’re not bloody made of money, you know.

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