Thursday 28 October 2021 by Chris Ballard

Historians confirm Hitler’s favourite food was pickled onion Monster Munch


historian confirms

One of the most evil men of all time enjoyed eating one of the most evil foods of all time.

Since the end of the Second World War, historians and scholars have contemplated one question more than any other – what was Hitler’s favourite food?

Obviously it would have been something inherently evil. Scampi Fries, perhaps? Liver and onions? Chips dipped in mayonnaise rather than ketchup?

Well, after seventy-five years of research, historians can now reveal that Hitler enjoyed snacking on something more vile and heinous than all these things combined – pickled onion Monster Munch.

“It’s been staring us in the face all these years,” said Simon Williams, Professor of 20th Century History at Bridgend University.

“Someone with a gaping hole where their soul should be would obviously love pickled onion Monster Munch.

“The evidence had been building up for years.

“It’s long been known that sales of pickled onion Monster Munch are highest in Tory held constituencies.

“It was also rumoured that George Osborne’s red budget box contained nothing but pickled onion Monster Munch when he unleashed a decade of austerity on the country.

“Hell, in a 1973 Melody Maker interview, Jimmy Saville cited pickled onion Monster Munch as his favourite crisps.

“So a lack of humanity has long been associated with pickled onion Monster Munch.

“It’s actually quite embarrassing that we didn’t make the link with Hitler sooner.”

A spokesman for Hitler’s estate said, “Adolf was the architect of many terrible, unforgivable atrocities, but we deny he ever had any involvement with pickled onion Monster Munch.”

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