Good honest British sewage is being contaminated by possibly foreign seawater on beaches up and down the land, according to reports today.
After supply chain problems properly prevented unnatural foreign chemicals being brought to the UK to ‘treat’ sewage, right-thinking Britons are up in arms that their dung still risks overseas – or in-the-seas – contamination.
“This just isn’t good enough,” said patriot Simon Williams.
“When I relieve myself, I want my doings to be appreciated as God intended; rich, firm, regular and above all – British.
“By adding seawater to our sewage the government are just showing they’re not serious about protecting our rights enshrined in Magna Carta and the Bill of Rights.
“A true-born Briton should be able to retire to the smallest room, safe in the knowledge that the processes of his guts will be treated with the respect and deference it deserves, and if he wants to dump his dump on a beach, it should be one when he’s on holiday abroad.”