Thursday 21 October 2021

You can’t catch Covid from your mates, insists noted epidemiologist Jacob Rees-Mogg

Jacob Rees-Mogg impervious to Covid

Jacob Rees-Mogg has insisted that MPs on Tory benches don’t wear masks because they’re all friends and that means they’re impervious to the transmissible nature of Covid.

In a parliamentary debate earlier today, the Victorian caricature responded to a question about the maskless Tory benches by insisting that Covid only leaps from stranger to stranger.

Rees-Mogg told the speaker, “As will no doubt be aware, the government advice is that you should wear a mask in confined spaces with people you don’t know – and this is solely due to Covid’s apparently inability to leap between friends.

“And as we’re all such frightfully good friends on the government benches, there is no need for us to wear a mask. I mean, yes, we would all happily engage in a little friendly back-stabbing when there is a political advantage to be gained, but isn’t that true of all good friends?”

Covid told us, “He’s right you know.  We don’t understand the mechanics of it either, but if you cough into the face of someone you’re very friendly with, we simply don’t have the capacity to jump across in that spittle and infect that individual.

“Which is lucky really, because if we could, then Jacob Rees-Mogg would look awfully like an anti-science pro-virus twat.

The Cabinet of Arseholes – get the Mug HERE!

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