Thursday 14 October 2021 by Mark Molloy

Parent demands children’s full Christmas lists by ‘close of play today’, to help ‘Santa’ with deliveries


Christmas list

A parent has demanded both his children fully complete their Christmas list by close of business today it is revealed, just to help ‘Santa’ out with this year’s delivery of toys.

Simon Williams, a 42-year-old plumber from Surrey, made the demand earlier after trying to order a Halloween costume online for his kids, and being told it would arrive in March.

Speaking earlier he told us, “I’m not taking any more chances.

“I’ve seen all the stuff on the news, about how there’s going to be no toys left at Christmas, because everything is stuck in that port, so I’ve decided to set a deadline for presents, just so they don’t start springing shit on me in December when I’ve fuck all chance of getting it delivered in time.

“I told them as soon as they got up that they had until bedtime tonight to provide a full and detailed Christmas list which cannot be changed or altered or they will get nothing.

“Obviously they had school, so that gave them about 15 minutes to think and decide, and they’ll get another 20 minutes after school, but I’m not messing about here, I need to get stuff ordered and also order a turkey.”

Asked if he thinks he will be able to get hold of all the gifts they have put on their list just in time for Christmas we were told “What’s this? A PlayStation 5 – fuck !”

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