Prince Andrew to categorically prove his innocence by using 12-year-old document to avoid standing trial

author avatar by 3 years ago

Prince Andrew is set to finally prove his innocence in relation to sex trafficking offences and having sex with a minor it is revealed today, by using a 12-year-old ‘settlement’ document to avoid standing trial.

With news emerging that lawyers for the Duke have now received permission to view the sealed document which apparently releases the Duke from ‘any and all potential liability’, a spokesman for Prince Andrew has confirmed that they are looking forward to finally proving his innocence, by stopping all action completely because of a loophole in the law.

A spokesperson for Duke confirmed “He’s innocent, and we can prove it.

“And we can prove it by digging up a 12-year-old settlement document which was probably signed under duress which completely releases our client, and all others bizarrely, from any and all liability for anything that has ever allegedly happened to the so-called victim.

“If that doesn’t finally prove that he’s done absolutely nothing wrong, then I don’t know what will.

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“I mean, nothing screams ‘I’m innocent and have absolutely nothing to hide’ more than trying to avoid being served with papers for weeks on end before then trying to escape a trial using a legal loophole from a document you signed back when Gordon Brown was Prime Minister.

“They may as well just close the case now. It’s clear my client is innocent, because of you know… the document thing.”

Asked where the Prince is now and if he can comment on the proceedings we were told, “I want to say Pizza Express… is it open yet?”