Friday 1 October 2021 by Neil Tollfree

Boris Johnson plans moon expedition to counter any potential cheese shortage


Boris Johnson moon of cheese

Boris Johnson has announced plans for a trip to the moon to counter any potential cheese shortage that may arise.

The announcement has followed news that further food shortages could be expected as a result of the ongoing lorry driver crisis.

“I don’t believe we will suffer a cheese shortage,” said Mr Johnson, leading most people to assume a cheese shortage was definitely imminent.

“But it is wise to be prepared and, as such, I have set in motion plans to launch a mission to the moon in order to bring back enough green cheese to ensure the country will not run short.”

There has been some criticism of the plans from scientists who have advised the Prime Minister that, according to the latest planetological knowledge, the moon is not, in fact, made of green cheese.

The Prime Minister dismissed their concerns.

“Nonsense,” he exclaimed.

“These so-called experts are just talking Britain, and its lunar cheese ambitions, down. We will go to the moon and bring back enough cheese for everyone!”

Despite the Prime Minister’s confidence, concerns have been raised following the announcement that Chris Grayling will lead the mission.

“I’m not sure who thought that was a good idea,” said one colleague.

“With Chris in charge, they could take a wrong turn, end up orbiting the planet Alderaan and get shot down by a passing death star.

“Which will be disastrous for British cheese stocks.”

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