Labour left still undecided on whether it would prefer Keir Starmer or Boris Johnson to be Prime Minister

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The left wing of the Labour Party is still unable to come to a decision on who it would prefer to be Prime Minister; Keir Starmer or Boris Johnson.

“It’s difficult, it really is,” said Simon Williams, a veteran of Labour politics who believes in a fairer society for everyone, except the Jews.

“On the one hand, Boris Johnson is an upper-class Etonian who wants to maintain the status quo and make the rich richer and the poor poorer.

“On the other hand, Keir Starmer used to be a lawyer.”

Many people might assume that anyone who would consider themselves left-of-centre would automatically want to see Boris Johnson out of office.

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Williams went on, “You’d think so, wouldn’t you? I’m not so sure. If it means Starmer as PM then maybe I’d just rather sulk on the sidelines and let everyone suffer another ten years of Tory rule because I didn’t get what I want.”

Mr Williams was clear about what Keir Starmer would need to do to win his and the left’s support.

“Make Jeremy Corbyn Home Secretary, state once and for all exactly how much he hates Israel and everyone associated with it, and formulate a coherent policy on the Nicaraguan revelation.”

It seems fair to infer that Mr Williams, like the rest of the Labour left, would prefer Boris Johnson as Prime Minister, but is a bit embarrassed to admit it.