Traces of river found in drugs at Glastonbury site

author avatar by 3 years ago

Environmental researchers have found trace levels of river in the huge pile of drugs at the Glastonbury festival site which might prove harmful to users unless they are reduced.

The drugs, which have been a feature of the festival site for generations, are showing dangerous levels of contamination by freshwater and wildlife – leading to experts warning that if the amount of water isn’t reduced, festival-goers might have to spend slightly less time off their tits.

“For years we’ve known there’s this steady stream of drugs flowing through Glastonbury, but it’s sobering to realise that the local environment might be polluting all the MDMA,” said Professor Simon Williams of the Kettering Institute of E-cology.

“What many people don’t realise when they attend the festival is that they aren’t in their living-room at home anymore, and as well as drugs there might be some fish or rabbits or whatnot which might hinder their enjoyment of a pill or two.

“We can only warn festivalgoers to check the purity of their stash at all times to ensure it isn’t being contaminated by nature.”

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