Friday 24 September 2021 by Neil Tollfree

National Anthem to be replaced with Benny Hill music


Benny Hill Theme

The British National Anthem, God Save the Queen, is to be replaced with the theme music from the Benny Hill show, Yakety Sax.

The farcical, comical music that plays whilst a speeded-up Benny Hill runs around slapping bald mens’ heads and leering at girls in their pants will reflect Great Britain’s new place in the world following Brexit and several years of Boris Johnson being Prime Minister.

God Save the Queen is a slow, serious, almost solemn piece that used to reflect the respect in which Great Britain was held throughout the world,” explained Government representative Eleanor Gay.

“A silly, farty piece of horn music seems a lot more appropriate nowadays.

“Whenever Boris appears on the world stage to represent Britain, his being accompanied by the strains of the Benny Hill music should give the occasion the appropriate level of dignity.”

Other options considered as a new National Anthem included Fat Les’s Vindaloo, and, a favourite on the Tory backbenches, Tomorrow Belongs to Me.

The Benny Hill theme did seem to be a popular choice for some Britons.

“Yeah, I like it, it’s a bit of fun, you know?” said Simon Williams, a normal person whose name is Simon Williams

“But then, I voted for Boris and Brexit, so I’m not sure I’m the best person to ask about anything.”

The new British National Anthem can be heard here

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