Thursday 23 September 2021 by Pete Redfern

Swear jar installed in BBC newsroom to punish staff for using the word ‘Brexit’ in a negative context

BBC brexit swear jar

BBC journalists who write or even utter the words ‘Brexit’, ‘Britain’s departure from the EU’ or anything remotely similar will be forced to pay a forfeit of fifty quid each time, it has emerged today.

Sources at BBC News have revealed that the ban on the word ‘Brexit’ came from senior government officials, and which goes a long way towards explaining why the term mysteriously has not been used in conjunction with any of the myriad problems that Britain currently faces.

“I’m a little reluctant to say that all of the BBC News team are in the government’s back pocket,” one journalist told us, mistakenly assuming he was off the record.

“But let’s just say that when Boris passes wind it makes our eyes sting.”

He went on, “We have had direct orders from Number Ten not to place the blame for the current HGV driver shortage, lack of fruit pickers, food shortages, power shortages, lack of a trade deal with the US, Northern Ireland violence and NHS staff shortages on Brexit.

“Shit, I said it, I guess I’d better pay fifty quid.”

He continued, “Instead, we’ve been told to try and shift the blame from Brexit – bollocks, that’s a hundred – onto Covid, foreigners, the Labour government that hasn’t been in power for eleven years, Jeremy Corbyn, woke millennials, or anything else that comes to mind.”

Glancing furtively over his shoulder he muttered, “Look, I’ve got to go. If I don’t pay that hundred quid in now then Rishi Sunak will be livid when he comes round at 5pm to pick it up, and he once threatened to buy the block of flats I live in and evict me ‘just for a laugh’.”

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